5 September 2017

thoughts #1: on new beginnings

image: https://www.flickr.com/photos/skinny-bones/17121721032/in/photostream/ (seen on tumblr)

Hey guys I hope you are well!
As with every summer, I haven't blogged as much as I wanted to. I've been a lot busier that I had anticipated and I have not had a moment to think. I still have compilations of summer posts to show you all, so I will try and post them throughout the early autumn.
I also wanted to try and create somewhat of a series on here.  I write down thoughts I have on the notes page on my phone, and as I no longer do English I'm irrationally worried that I will loose the fluency of writing that took so much work and effort to acquire. So, here I am with a series where I will write about what's on my mind. ALSO I have rekindled my love of Tumblr; pls comment your Tumblrs below so I can follow.

This week I start a new chapter in my life and a new beginning. I've finally left my secondary school and sixth form after seven years of the same people, teachers and gossip. For me the transition from primary to secondary school was exceptionally emotionally demanding. I have always struggled with change but that year was particularly difficult for me; as difficult as an eleven year olds life can be, it's all relative.
After seven years of secondary school, I am scared the same fear will transpire again this year. I've changed a lot since I was eleven respectively, but I still carry a form of that anxiety with me even though I am no longer the same introverted girl. Anxiety has presented itself within my life in a cohort of different ways, it would be rude not to acknowledge it particularly at a time in which I'm certain it'll make an appearance.
Throughout life, we all experience fear and worry but it is how you cope in those moments of trepidation that count.
I was watching a speech the other day the Sandra Bullock gave and she said a very profound but true statement,
"I don't remember any of the times I spend worrying, so that's a lot of time I can't get back."



I am a serial worrier. I worry if there's enough coffee for me in the mornings, if there will be a nuclear war, if my passing arm ache is cancer.  My Google search history is full of me confiding in Dr Google for life advice.
But we are all wasting our time by worrying. Whilst our knowledge and past experiences taint our judgement and fears of the future, it is so important to remember that every moment and every experience is different and as cliche as it is: everything happens for a reason.

So for that reason this time round I'm not bothering. I'm not bothering to think too much, to allow my mind to over power my actions. The forgiving nature of new beginnings is so appealing; I no longer want to carry the burden of fear and irrational worry.

I hope you all are coping in this transitional period. September always brings around change, but perhaps that is why autumn is so desirable.

Go get em gals and guys x x


P.S I watched this earlier and the part when Steph and Claire are talking is veryyy appropriate to this post, so defo give it a watch.


7 comments:

  1. god, i feel ya. so so wish i could adopt the mentality of acceptance, september has been rough (so far) but i'm working on adapting to change and conquering the anxiety. I'm soso glad you've decided to not let it ruin the adventure. Also so pleased you've decided to do these essay/thoughts kinda posts, like you say don't wanna lose out on your Eng lit talents!!!! Hope its all going well, change is necessary (as I am having to remind myself every day) and you don't grow when you're comfortable Xx

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    1. September is always such a hard month, especially when it feels like everyone else is moving on off to uni! Thank you, you too! Lovee that saying defo will be remembering that one x x

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  2. Ahh I totally relate to this post! i've also been at my secondary school for seven years, and the friendships, feuds and dramas experienced feels like a distant but intense memory, and it feels weird to be letting it all go and really, truly, transitioning. I'm definitely going to watch that speech! Good luck with everything b, it'll be fab!!! <3 <3 <3

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    1. Completelyy agree, it's such a strange feeling!! Ty bb, good luck too!! x xx

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  3. I reeeeally feel this! Hope you're feeling less worrisome now hun :) xxx

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  4. Lexie, this blogpost is one of the reasons why an English degree would suit you so well, it's so well put together and relatable, love G x

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  5. September is definately a scary time, but I know you will do amazing things this year and in the future!! fab post Lex x

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thank you x