17 September 2016

self acceptance

(a photo where you can't see my 'chin dimple')


I started this blog when I was thirteen because I loved fashion. Fashion was a big part of my life, I lived for watching Alexander McQueen's shows on YouTube- even though I wore h&m basic clothes. The fashion world is a strange world, and it's a world I now feel so detached from. When I was thirteen I didn't have Facebook, Twitter or Instagram and I was oblivious to this world of social media- which is a significant proportion of the current fashion world, right?

For me, fashion has always been about self expression and I still love that about it. But now I have developed this critical viewpoint of the industry due to my own insecurities. I got Instagram and Facebook and suddenly I felt this need to impress others. My self gratification came from receiving
compliments from others, for surpassing 30 likes on Instagram.

Then I'd be having identity crisis, wanting to follow the crowd; then wanting to stand out. I saw the faults in such a rigid industry, not the fun. Fashion fuels the fire of my insecurities. I'd be scrolling on Instagram and it would be filled with photos of stick thin models and expensive couture. I had never had a problem with my weight until last year, and I can honestly say I think it's because of social media. I'm not fat at all, but my thighs touch and I don't see that in the fashion industry.

When I was taking this webcam photo, I noticed I have dimples on my chin when I smile. Suddenly I found myself googling "models with chin dimples." Then discovering Lyndsey Wixson has a chin dimple and feeling relieved because someone whose job it is to look good has a chin dimple. Like what the fuck? How can the opinion I have of myself be altered by such a stupid, petty thing?

I am on a journey of self acceptance and I'm finding love for myself. I'm ridding myself of the negativity I have developed in the past few years from trying to be someone I'm not.
Because as Justin Bieber says:

You should go and love yourself.
(never thought I would be quoting JB on here)

xx

17 comments:

  1. you are so adorable!!! i totally get what you're saying about the fashion industry as well and social media. we need more representation, and it's totally normal for you to feel that way about your chin dimple if it isn't something you've seen in the media before! don't fret though, you'll get there, we all will xo

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    1. oh u, we defo do it's still such a rigid industry, it's time for a change! big love x x

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  2. I've definitely been there Lexie. Social media is both a blessing and a curse. When the self criticism and comparison starts I feel like you have to distance yourself for a bit, and remind yourself of what is important. Sending you love!

    LEXI LIKES

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    1. I totally agree, I have a love hate relationship with it! big love your way x x

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  3. Social media is definitely a curse sometimes, but it's awesome that you've realized it because that is always the first step. You are so cute!!!!! I'm happy you're on your journey to realize that :-)

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    1. It defo is, it can be so amazing but at times I just want to delete it all! thank you gal! x

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  4. love this post! i sometimes still let social media define my self-worth, and it sucks.

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  5. I totally get what you mean. Sometimes the most petty, annoying things can distress me for ages. The product of instagram is basically just jealousy. It's so harmful tbh, and so easy to fall into the trap of comparison! But I guess it is a journey and it won't go in an easy straight line, but will hopefully eventually get to the destination anyway? You're so cute btw! <3

    Zoe xo
    delicate--musings.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. It is and it annoys me that instagram has become such a competetive platform! Yes lets hope so, ty b! <3

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  6. Girl this resonates with me sooo much, while I love social media and fashion it can cause me so much anxiety due to me feeling I'm not as good or successful as other bloggers, which is seriously harmful. I'm finally learning to accept that just because someone has thousands more followers than me, it doesn't mean I'm worth any less; I'm glad you're starting to love yourself more too bc you're adorable and your blog is fab!! <3
    www.britishmermaid.com

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    1. I'm completely agreed on the blogging thing, I'm constantly comparing myself to others. Thank you gal!! Off to check out your blog <333

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  7. This was such an open and honest post, and one I've no doubt many can relate to - social media is in some way or another always going to be a 'comparison platform', so it's best in small doses! Good luck on your journey of self-acceptance, and although you don't need the approval of others, personally I think you're beautiful! :)

    aglassofice.com
    x

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  8. I loved Alexander McQueens designs - he was brilliant! I know what you mean about wanting acceptance - I get too hung up on who like, follows or blocks me on Twitter and disabled comments on my YouTube. You are so right that self-acceptance is the right path to happiness!

    http://full-brief-panties.blogspot.com/2016/08/cosmetics-haul-lingeriefashion-hauls.html

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  9. This was such a compelling and honest post, I think that viewing fashion as self acceptance is amazing! <3
    clandestine-v.blogspot.com

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  10. Wow started the blog at 13 is such a very young age.
    Love to read this, you look pretty creative personality.
    Keep being you! x




    www.arindapuspitasari.com

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thank you x